A few years back, I pictured that I would be in a different place than where I am now. I thought I would be further than where I currently am. Going off to college, living my own life, meeting new people, seeing new sights, getting to experience life on my own for once. And now that I’m here finally, it’s not at all what I expected it to look like. I’m living at home (because guess what, moving out actually costs money, who knew?), I’m unsure what I want career path I want to take, I’m not going on the trips I’ve dreamt of taking (unlike my friends who actually are), and nothing looks like I thought it would.
Even though I’m not where I thought I would be, and things don’t seem to be as what I once thought, God is still moving and he is still doing something marvelous. He’s just up to something different. While I’m sitting here at home this summer, while all the other people I know are out on adventures and seeing the world, God refining me. He is renewing me. He is constantly editing my perspective — confronting my mindset and altering each thing that isn’t representative of his heart. He is steadily revealing His reality and relevancy to me. I’m gaining understanding of Him and the world. He is giving me wisdom and understanding.
Being taught and understood by a God who is unfathomable is beyond my comprehension. It’s more than I could ever ask for. More than a summer filled with world wide trips and new places. More than figuring out what I want to do the rest of my life, heck this is helping me figure out what I want to do the rest of my life. I finally see that God is up to something different. More marvelous than what I was ever expecting.
I love it when He does that, when he doesn’t answer our prayers in the way we though, only to give us something better. To surprise us beyond our imagination.
This summer, I’m going to enjoy sitting at home, by my window, while listening to acoustic music and feeling the breeze flow across my skin. Even though its tough and my heart is being ripped apart, I’m going to enjoy being refined and renewed.
It’s quite freeing, actually.